I've been doing a lot of writing lately, mostly on what i see on a day to day basis in life, online, on tv, in my bible, wherever i can get info. However the subject that needs the most attention is dating. Internet dating is ever increasing and it looks as though it will not slow down. Looking through calssifides to see what others have to offer.....i'm shall we say less than impressed. Let us begin with us women, yes get prepared because "imma put you up on game."
As much as many of us, men and women, claim to be ready for something real, serious, seeking no games, looking for the one, taking a deeper look into the subject proves differently. Browsing through a popular website which shall remain namless, I ran across titles such as "Thick woman seeking good man." Now i know that there isn't much room to write your life story in the title but ladies let's be a little more original and write an eyecathcer that doesn't capture your "best" asset. I know that men are visual creature first so we have to get their attention somehow right? Now let's further explore another approach.
Being a woman of substance myself i know that we have to market ourselves differetly than "normal" (definition unknown) women. "Thick woman seeking good man" is not a title that will be remembered because women thick, thin, fat, skinny, sickly, etc, are all looking for a "good man." Here's a title that could be more promising; "Intriguing curvatious woman on the scene." This title leaves some mystery and it pulls you out of the other 8239476324932746 posts entitled "Thick woman in search of good man." In the body of your ad it is important to capitalize on more than just your looks, but let's not give them a biography. A good ad would be short with enough information to get replies from "good men." Now let's remember this is the internet and as crazy as men are out on the streets they're even crazier online so you will definately get responses that you don't want, that's life.
Remember, if you are "serious" about finding something "real", which can be found online despite the feelings of some, then you have to be HONEST! This is very important because if you plan on meeting up with someone, they'll find out exactly what you lied about in your ad. I've known some real good talkers that couldn't live up to what they wrote in their ads, so let's be on point ladies. An example of an acceptable ad would read: "First,thank you for choosing my ad to read out of the numerous, enticing i'm sure, ads by other women." This opening line will attract a guy who is seeking something serious from a well spoken woman, and it will turn off any man who has other intentions and bad taste in women, just kidding, or am I? Next tell your age and a little about yourself, remembering that honesty is the best policy. "I am a single 23 year old African American Female downt to earth, witty, and i enjoy good conversation. My interests are reading, dancing, and cooking. I would like to meet a man who is honest with common interests, has a sense of humor, and is also down to earth. I am not looking to jump the broom overnight, but to first establish a friendship and possibly go from there. Finding out more about me will be fun so let's do some verbal exploration shall we?" This ad is short and sweet, straight to the point. He should know by the end of it whether or not he wants to respond to this ad, he should not want to or have to second guess or click right to the next ad, that is if he's seriously looking.
Why not tell your weight? why not tell your height? why not indulge in how much money you make or don't make? Because these are things that should not be the reason a man is interested in you, not that he should ever know your weight anyway! Giving all of that information is not a good entrance into the start of something new. It's almost like an auction if you do it that way. 170, 5'6", 60,000, going once, twice, sold to the gentlemen with the knife in his hand! see my point? you'll attract attention that you don't want. Now that i've given a little insight on what to do and what not to do, rethink your plan of attack, make it interesting and don't overdo it, then see what happens! In my next blog i will definately get at the men on what to do and what not to do! Until then keep it real and be blessed.
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Dating. Show all posts
Sunday, March 2, 2008
Men's edition: Internet Dating
"I'm looking for a white woman in great shape, no kids, her own things, and drama free." "I'm looking for a woman with a house, a car, a gym membership, no kids, and 401k." Is this how your ads look? Are you guilty of looking like a fool? Then let me help you out! "Oh i don't need any help from a woman i know what i'm doing." <-----Is that also you? Well if you're not getting the responses that you're looking for it would be to your best interest to read here and pay very close attention! Some of the things i say might be hurtful, some funny, some not so funny, some surprising, but in the end it's nothing but the TRUTH because that's all i know, got me? Good, then let's begin. oh and this is advice that most people charge for.
Let's start with the demanders. These are my favorite ads to read because they appear everyday. Do you really want to know why you have to repost over and over again? Because we're living in a day and age where demand after demand is a turn off. Women don't want to date a guy who does this: "you MUST be this, you MUST be that and so forth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with preferences and knowing what you want, but there is a way you can and should go about it, especially those of you who find yourselves posting day after day, week after week, only to be repeatedly turned down or in the same situation each time. To me a guy saying MUST this and MUST that shows that he has some control issues, he could possibly be dealing with some aggression, and he's looking for a completely submissive woman, i'll attack that at another time.
If you really want your ads to be answered you MUST put your ego aside especially for those of you who are "seriously" seeking something "serious" and real. If you're looking to get your kicks you can stop reading here because this is real talk for men who don't desire to be alone and hopeless the rest of their lives. Now that that's out of the way let's continue. Yes women want a strong man but not someone who has to dumb her down in order for him to feel like a man. Instead of MUST try "what i'm looking for in a woman" or "these things attract me about a woman." From there she'll continue to read because she's already been given the respect that she's looking for from a man. So for our demanders, my advice is to simply try a new approach!
This next one I see in almost EVERY ad. "I don't want a fat girl, bbw, or whatever you call it, it's ugly unattractive and i don't want it." Trust me, some have been worse. This is a great way to make you feel good about yourself and to make the blonde bombshell who can't stay in a relationship because the only thing she has to offer is beauty happy that she can land more guys than the Fat chick. Fellas let's have some repsect and be a bit more tactful. This is more acceptable: "I like to workout and stay in shape and i am interested in a woman who exhibits the same qualities." You don't need to announce to the world that a fat chick is not what you want! Some of you men come with a picture of your body lookin' nice and tight but you got teeth like a shark and everytime you cough you lose some hair! Please come correct if you're seeking the supermodel type alright guys.
Next i have the ever growing population of black men who are looking for a white woman. Do you want to know what makes a black woman mad? Do you want her to turn into a mad black woman? Well listen up because i have some information for those oblivious to a black womans world. Creating an ad that says: "I'm looking for a white or (other) woman because black women are no good, they ain't about nothin', etc. will only anger black women first off and second how do you expect any "other" type of woman to want to get to know you or even inquire about you if you're degrading a whole race of females? Wrong move my men, wrong move. If you desire a woman of another race then that's fine but don't disrespect the entire african american female race in search of that other woman. This is more acceptable: "I'm a single black male in search of somthing different at this point in my life and exploring options outside of my race" and so forth and so on. Now I will warn you that you'll probably still get the angry black female who is all about black power but that's not something you need to be concerned about unless she shows up at your door with Rev. Jesse Jackson and a thousand throw back members from the black panthers. If that is the case then you're in trouble my brotha! In order to get the responses you want start with respecting your own women first, because that will show that you have respect for women in general no matter what race, got me? let's get into some deep issues now.
The married man in a "bad" marriage looking for someone to "have coffee with." Let's be real guys, you're back posting every week because you look like scumb to a mature woman who is aware of herself and has enough respect for herself not to answer your ads. Unless you're offering money then don't expect to get a million answers on this one, and trust me, you'll run out of money and really be in trouble if you keep this act up. Bad marriage or not, posting an ad that your wife does not know about and saying you just want to "talk" will only hurt your marriage so my advice to you is to get divorced....then have coffee. If you're looking to have your cake and eat it too then keep posting and see how bad life gets!
Last but not least, everyone else. I see a lot of ads talking about how they've failed at love, how they can't seem to find the right one, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada! <--------That right there is EXACTLY the reason you're posting week after week. If you want to be successful at dating start with a little spunk, charisma, hope, positivity, you catch my drift? Women are looking for men who are excited about life and want to share their joy and excitement. If your situation is so bad that you have to include your feelings and emotions in your ads then you should put off posting until you can get yourself together because women don't want to see a crying pitiful man right off the bat.Next, Those of you that can't create a sentence that makes sense you ought to consult a friend, preferabley female and someone that can spell to look over your ad before posting. There is nothing worse than a man with all these demands that can't spell any of them! I DEMAND you MUST spell check before you post!!!!
I hope i could help a few of you out. I know that some of you will continue to lack in the dating circle because you continue to make stupid mistakes that are avoidable but hey, can't win them all right? Those of you that are serisous about this and do want to make progress just make small adjustments and see the repsonses you'll get. You won't get it right all of the time but keep trying and you'll get very close, then one day whether it's tomorrow or next month, or even next year you'll find yourself dating in a new way and happy about it.
Let's start with the demanders. These are my favorite ads to read because they appear everyday. Do you really want to know why you have to repost over and over again? Because we're living in a day and age where demand after demand is a turn off. Women don't want to date a guy who does this: "you MUST be this, you MUST be that and so forth. There is absolutely nothing wrong with preferences and knowing what you want, but there is a way you can and should go about it, especially those of you who find yourselves posting day after day, week after week, only to be repeatedly turned down or in the same situation each time. To me a guy saying MUST this and MUST that shows that he has some control issues, he could possibly be dealing with some aggression, and he's looking for a completely submissive woman, i'll attack that at another time.
If you really want your ads to be answered you MUST put your ego aside especially for those of you who are "seriously" seeking something "serious" and real. If you're looking to get your kicks you can stop reading here because this is real talk for men who don't desire to be alone and hopeless the rest of their lives. Now that that's out of the way let's continue. Yes women want a strong man but not someone who has to dumb her down in order for him to feel like a man. Instead of MUST try "what i'm looking for in a woman" or "these things attract me about a woman." From there she'll continue to read because she's already been given the respect that she's looking for from a man. So for our demanders, my advice is to simply try a new approach!
This next one I see in almost EVERY ad. "I don't want a fat girl, bbw, or whatever you call it, it's ugly unattractive and i don't want it." Trust me, some have been worse. This is a great way to make you feel good about yourself and to make the blonde bombshell who can't stay in a relationship because the only thing she has to offer is beauty happy that she can land more guys than the Fat chick. Fellas let's have some repsect and be a bit more tactful. This is more acceptable: "I like to workout and stay in shape and i am interested in a woman who exhibits the same qualities." You don't need to announce to the world that a fat chick is not what you want! Some of you men come with a picture of your body lookin' nice and tight but you got teeth like a shark and everytime you cough you lose some hair! Please come correct if you're seeking the supermodel type alright guys.
Next i have the ever growing population of black men who are looking for a white woman. Do you want to know what makes a black woman mad? Do you want her to turn into a mad black woman? Well listen up because i have some information for those oblivious to a black womans world. Creating an ad that says: "I'm looking for a white or (other) woman because black women are no good, they ain't about nothin', etc. will only anger black women first off and second how do you expect any "other" type of woman to want to get to know you or even inquire about you if you're degrading a whole race of females? Wrong move my men, wrong move. If you desire a woman of another race then that's fine but don't disrespect the entire african american female race in search of that other woman. This is more acceptable: "I'm a single black male in search of somthing different at this point in my life and exploring options outside of my race" and so forth and so on. Now I will warn you that you'll probably still get the angry black female who is all about black power but that's not something you need to be concerned about unless she shows up at your door with Rev. Jesse Jackson and a thousand throw back members from the black panthers. If that is the case then you're in trouble my brotha! In order to get the responses you want start with respecting your own women first, because that will show that you have respect for women in general no matter what race, got me? let's get into some deep issues now.
The married man in a "bad" marriage looking for someone to "have coffee with." Let's be real guys, you're back posting every week because you look like scumb to a mature woman who is aware of herself and has enough respect for herself not to answer your ads. Unless you're offering money then don't expect to get a million answers on this one, and trust me, you'll run out of money and really be in trouble if you keep this act up. Bad marriage or not, posting an ad that your wife does not know about and saying you just want to "talk" will only hurt your marriage so my advice to you is to get divorced....then have coffee. If you're looking to have your cake and eat it too then keep posting and see how bad life gets!
Last but not least, everyone else. I see a lot of ads talking about how they've failed at love, how they can't seem to find the right one, blah, blah, blah, yada, yada, yada! <--------That right there is EXACTLY the reason you're posting week after week. If you want to be successful at dating start with a little spunk, charisma, hope, positivity, you catch my drift? Women are looking for men who are excited about life and want to share their joy and excitement. If your situation is so bad that you have to include your feelings and emotions in your ads then you should put off posting until you can get yourself together because women don't want to see a crying pitiful man right off the bat.Next, Those of you that can't create a sentence that makes sense you ought to consult a friend, preferabley female and someone that can spell to look over your ad before posting. There is nothing worse than a man with all these demands that can't spell any of them! I DEMAND you MUST spell check before you post!!!!
I hope i could help a few of you out. I know that some of you will continue to lack in the dating circle because you continue to make stupid mistakes that are avoidable but hey, can't win them all right? Those of you that are serisous about this and do want to make progress just make small adjustments and see the repsonses you'll get. You won't get it right all of the time but keep trying and you'll get very close, then one day whether it's tomorrow or next month, or even next year you'll find yourself dating in a new way and happy about it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
