Self Esteem: A Closer Look

“You got a smile so bright, you know you coulda been a candle……Well you coulda been anything that you wanted to and I can tell, the way you do the things you do.” Those lyrics could never be directed towards women of today because obviously we simply don’t deserve it and because we are so undeserving these days, we’re more likely to be “superman’d,” “super soaked,” Or even spiderman’d but never praised. I ask myself often where we went wrong, what exactly is it that we’ve done to deserve the names that are sparingly and so graciously bestowed upon the women of today.

For decades black women have struggled with self esteem, self worth, and the like, although some researchers think differently. Numerous studies have been done which claim that because African American females rarely see runway models of color, and since thin Caucasian women are society’s spokeswomen of beauty, we tend not to be affected by it; therefore a lack of self esteem does not take root as easily as it does for white females. However this proved not to be the case in a more recent study which concluded that we have the same feelings of insecurity, and low self esteem when we see African American women in videos, models, actresses, singers, athletes, etc.

I find it hard to believe a study like that could be anywhere close to accurate when we constantly are talked down to, disrespected in song, rap, or whatever means necessary to degrade us. This is a problem for me because as a race one would think we would do more to encourage and uplift each other because society already sees us as the bottom feeders. As an African American woman my heart goes out to our younger generation. I’m at an age where I’m not affected as much as a 13 year old would be by the media. At 23 I can’t be shaped, molded, or influenced by the images on BET as easily as a young girl can.

In a study done by dove 75% of teenage girls had feelings of depression and low self esteem after three minutes of flipping through a fashion magazine. In today’s society our youth are being taught that beauty is everything and that it will get you everywhere. Proverbs 31:30 says “Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the Lord shall be praised.” Our younger generation needs a new vision of beauty one that is within because as it says in the scripture, outward appearance passes.

The more these girls and young women listen to the lyrics of these songs, and watch these so called “beautiful” women in these videos the more it will begin to take root. If you water a plant everyday and give it plenty of sunlight that plant will begin to grow, but once you stop watering that plan and it sits in the sun it will begin to wither and become dried up and it will eventually die. It’s the same thing with our young girls. They’re being fed day in and day out this degrading music where women are referred to as hoes, bitches, and tricks and they’ve accepted that as being who they are. We need to start cutting off their water and sunlight. That root needs to dry up and die. Instead they should be subjected to positive female role models and songs that encourage women to respect their selves.